I have had three true bullies in my career – all women. Each situation was different, and each woman was a bully for different reasons and in different ways. Only one of them was my direct manager. All made my life miserable and difficult despite my attempts at trying to make things better – part of my job as Project Manager and part of my personality. Despite every Lifetime movie showing that bullies can be ‘turned around’ – that’s not true for the office where you have no insight into their personal world where the damage is being created. Forgive me my HR friends, there’s nothing you have done in any of these situations – for the same reason.
Bullying is one of those toxic situations with no way out – like narcissism. So, what DO you do? The internet is filled with tactics to help you survive. But, I think the real answer lies in looking in the mirror and deciding what you want to do with your life. Forget the bully – What is in your best interest? Do you like what you’re doing? My guess, what you want to do is hard to do. There are kids, spouses, money, or knowledge in the way. Most likely there’s fear too. Change is scary, but change is our only option.
Twins looked at each other in the womb and say “It’s so scary out there. It doesn’t matter that I can barely move – it’s safe here.”